My Ramblings

Sitting rite here in front of da comp,typing...feeling devastated...disappointed..sad....n all dox relating 2 sadness...haiz...all i gotta do is sigh....sigh,sigh n sigh....datz my job...nth better 2 do readi wad...sot2 pun i kant do aniting...promised ppl readi...a promise is a promise...datz me...so i kant like slash my wrist or wad arh...ppl,2 tell ya da truth...i penah nak try take up smoking...wen cum 2 tink of ma probs...haf oways been tinking of taking up smoking but i darent take d risk...d risk is 2 high 4 me...i kant take d risk...too high...i noe ppl dint allow me 2 do so...i noe...but ppl,do u noe i'm so troubled nw??do u ppl noe??of course all of ya duno kan...hw stupid of me...i dint tell ppl wad i'm goin thru n expect em 2 noe..haiz...takpe la...i beta of nt let out...kalau tak nanti sume org hurt cos of me..yah,cos of me....so,i beta shut my mouth la...2 make tings easier 4 u ppl...haiz...

Hajar,been lng since i last meet u yah...n lama gak kite stop 2 sms each otha...da last tym u msg-ed me waz wen u saw imman sang pat skool hari tu 4 dak2 d.k sumer...u were telling me he waz cute n stuffs...yah..i still remember...n d last waz d 1 u told me sal d band stuffs...bout d christmas celebration..datz all...pas 2 takde berita tentang u...all i did 2 noe wad happen 2 ur life waz 2 read ur blog...datz hw i get 2 noe hw u feeling n wad went wrong...seems dat d bound between u n ur abg is strong yah....good arh...good dat u found him n he found u...u gt him 2 luv n he gt u 2 luv...all i hope is 4 u n him 2 be wid each otha 4 s lng s bof of u can...do gv n take...jgn salu gaduh...listen 2 him n stuffs...i'm nt a good sista..i accept dat...i noe i haf nt been doin my duty s ur sista..i do admit my mistakes...hmm...duno wad happen 2 me..u mux be very disappointed in me...s ur sis i acted so emotionally 2wards u..haiz...wer's my responsibility??wer it go?maybe all of em vanish in2 thin air...haiz...jz wish u all da best 4 ur future...do take care...do eat well n eat ur medicines at proper tym if u're sick...

Supermarn out der,congrats 2 u n ur gal...been asking u 2 do so since dulu...but u dint....n finali u did it...congrats yah...hope she'll be s good s erm...s gd s seorang PEREMPUAN yah....u noe wad i mean...i dun haf 2 elaborate...hope she's nt pompan....jz noe dat nomatter wad u do,wer u r,hu u're wid,u're oways my superman...noone can take dat plce of urs...dun worry...all da best 2 u n ur gal....jz anggap-ed me s a fren..like hw u anggap-ed d otha gals in d class..treat me like hw u treat em...aniting jz drop me a msg....or mail me or call arh...do wad u want k...sal u bahagia sudah...datz all i hope 4....all d good tyms we had together will remain s memories...good or bad dey'll remain s memories...i noe i've toy-ed wid ur feelings...i noe...i'm sorry...but sorry doesnt pay much rite...do tell me wad i gota do 2 reali occupy dat forgiveness...tell me yah...sorry onces again 4 hurting u...jz dun deny...haiz....

Haiz...i duno wad 2 sae readi...ppl,if ur luv ones leaving 4 good,like study abroad 4 her/his future,wud u let em go???wud u guys regret if u let em go??haiz...life has been hard 4 me...extremely hard...smpkan i duno hw 2 describe readi...haiz....mcm mane nie...tlg aku....sumbody save me...i'm falling...falling 2 d very deep hole...Sot...sot...tinking of my luv ones leaving makes me weep..haiz...sik2 nangis je..pe kejadah sey...ppl ask me 2 smile but cud d smile ever maintain??cud it stand lng??i dun tink so...i can smile at a certain tym but nt oways la..tym sedih of course i kant smile...all i do is jz weep...datz all...haiz...damn it!i wun be able 2 sleep early den..haiz...my mind is troubled....kant possibli shut my eyes...padahal tml i haf 2 wake up at 5.45am cos i gt outing arh...goin batam cos my mom's werk plce ajak go batam..like family outing arh g2...haf 2 be der early...so,ppl...if u wana sms me kan...pagi leh...tapikan cum2 tink of it takkan krg nak bgn pagi2 kan hari sundae plak tu...so,niting msg jer la but i reply lbt arh...wen i reach bck here in s'pore den i reply all of ya msgs k....c ya..

always and forever lovin' you;
1:28 AM

____________________________