My Ramblings

Haiz...
Again...smth unpleasant...sal nie??takde keje ker krg nie??
da tebiat??da lama tak pukul org pas 2 pukul org yg tak besalah??
pe nie??wad gang r u all from??sape sak g upah krg nie??haiz...btol takde keje sey....nak aku bagi keje??psl krg la hidup aku skrg sengsara...mane krg tau...krg tau pukul org je pe...damn...u all r making my life difficult...tau tak??obviousli krg tak tau kan...y hurting sum1 hu's innocent??y??i wonder sape budak 2 yg upah org..haiz...wad i did 2 u smp u did dix?wer u get my no??wer??wer u noe me??hw u noe her?all dox qns came up 2 me wen i gt 2 noe dat dak2 damai yg involve in dix....smp sak hati krg buat gni..n i ade org ingat aku pasang org pukul dia plak..pe nie??tak tau jgn sembarang arh...sakit sey hati dgr g2...u hurt me u noe by saying dat..it shows u dun realli noe me well n maen sembarang tuduh jer...

to shahnaz,i'm nt trying 2 blame u in dix arh...u gt ur reasons 2 anggap yg aku nie pasang org pukul budd...but u tink arh...y wud i want 2 pasang org n pukul budd??jz tink arh...aku nak kau pk btol knape aku nak soh org buat g2...kau ingat aku takde keje eh??i'm occupied wid skul n skrg kau tuduh aku pasang org pukul budd...smp hati sey kau bebual gni...aku tak kesah arh pe kau nak ckp tapi tlg la...kau ingat aku takde perasaan eh??y wud i do dat 2 her despite knowing she means a lot 2 me??y wud i do dat??y??tho we r drifting apart,dat doesnt proves dat i gt n askq pipol 2 beat her up kan...pe kejadah sak aku nak soh org pukul dier..pk takde keje kape...i gt no feeling of hatred till nw so y wud i do dat...unless i hate her or ape ke den i'll consider arh..tapi pon kalau pukul dier pon wun solve anyting kan...wud be better if i face her n talk tings thru kan dari upah org pukul..2 name nye pengecut...tanak face d person abe soh org pukul...pe jer...kau nye psl la nak anggap ape sl aku...wad i noe aku tak tergamak n wun do aniting of dat sort 2 her...up 2u 2 believe...

haiz...skrg aku da sot giler nye...sakit sak hati pk sal nie benda..tak tentu psl aku kena gni..pe tak bingit sey....pe tak fed up...fuck la...BINGIT!!!i'm so confuse wid tings...kant it be 1 dae dat i'm free from problems??kant i??i dun tink so la...dgn keadaan gni,aku tak agak arh...sot..sot..Argh!!!

now,bout him....in front of him of course i'll pretend 2 be happy la..4 his sake cos i noe if i'm sad he'll be sad 2..i gt no choice but 2 be happy but dat also depends on me arh..if i tink i can put up a smile den i'll put up if nt i wun....he wanted us 2 be frens...rite...frens...a sudden frenship...rite....it wud affect me my dear...wud affect me drastically...i wun be able 2 change d atmoshere of luv 4 sum1 2 luv 4 a fren....i kant in a short period of time...i jz kant...gime tym..i duno if i cud even if i'm given time...haiz..noone noes hw i feel 4 u...onli i noe myself.....but wad 2 do,i noe u luv her more den u luv me...i jz noe dat...of course i'm hurt la..evry gal wud be hurt by dat...u're afraid of losing her...dat shows ur luv 4 her is more strong...so,i can do nth..nth at all...i wun go forcing u...i WUN...like i haf said,i dun wana break ppl up...i dun like it dat wae...so,i shall luv him in silence...pipol,dun tell him hw i feel afta u read my blog..let him jz treat me s his frens...d wae he usta treat me wen we were still frens dulu..hopefuli i can take d BLOW.....a sudden 1...gime ur blessings ppl...

2 siz,jgn bebual mrapek arh...i jz dun want tings 2 get worst...datz all..nt more den dat...i dun ask 4 more...it's jz a while...4 dix while onli...i dun want tings 2 get more worst n den u r involve lagi...hurt u lagi...tak sanggup la i tgk u kena sal i...tak sanggup sey...haiz..jgn la anggap salah...asilah n fiza noe it too...i dun haf a choice..but wad can i do if u wana tink ur wae..i kant change it...haiz...niwae,i hav been n will always luv u....nomatter wad i'll still luv u...n 4 ur luv ones sake,do plz hang in der....dun giv up life jz yet...dey need u..i need u...haiz...wad more cud i sae???

ntahlah...aku cam mls la nak tdo...nak tdo tapi takde mood nak tdo...wid a lot of tings in my mind,i kant simple sleep..nanti mesti mimpi buruk nye...tak sanggup aku mimpi yg mrapek...so,tml ader interclass soccer...4 gurls arh...boyz da tadik...tak tau klas aku nye budak laki amcm...did dey win or lose??hopefulli dey win arh...so dat kiter nye class can be known s nt good in academic but gud in sports...at least smth sey...dari takde..tml's our turn...mintak2 menang la...hope jer...syla,fiza,me,li ting,eva,deviga n farhanah wud be playing against 4a2 nye budak pompan...hope we haf supporters yah.....till here my entry wud be..so lng my frens....ciao...

always and forever lovin' you;
10:07 PM

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