My Ramblings
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
seriously speaking sia...damn bad...
like yest,smth crop up arh....smth saddening n i'm still broading over it...haiz...y has it happen 2 me n nt othas??y me??y it has 2 be sum1 like me hu's always weak wen it cums 2 loving sum1 else?WHY???i kant 4get wad i jz did yest...n i really kant face him...fiza,kalau kau nak tau sal aku takde mood tadi pat skola waz cos of dix arh...sal dier...waz troubled cos of him but knowing da type of person i m,kau tau la aku mesti ckp takde pape...n i manage 2 wipe out d tears in tym...n put up a fake smile 2 evry1...he dint even c me...not even a glance..haiz...i'm so sad...n 2 da person dat advised me yest,tanx 4 ya advise...u dun haf 2 apologise...NO MORE APOLOGISING 2 me...please la...u noe i dun like ppl apologising too much rite...so,stop...lucky yest mom n bro waz inside their rooms..kalau drg kluar g living room mampos aku kena interview rabak gler...esp my mom...mesti dier tanye....but luckily dey dint cum out...i kept on crying...crying my hart out...noone cud hear me...i noe dat...went 2 da kitchen n cried der...s i stood by d windows,i tot bck whether my decision waz clearly made....i duno wad wud b d consequences...cud it be bad or gud??we were on talking terms dat afternoon..nt until i asked him 2 4get me...dier kater tak sanggup but den i told him dat he is like using me 2 fill up his empty tym...yah...n i'm like a spare tyre 2him...use me wen he's bored n dump me he's enjoying wid her...i duno la...i'm SOOOO CONFUSED now...maybe wad she said yest waz rite...but still i duno...i'm getting d side effects now....sooner d major effects wud cum...muahaha!be prepared nad....
I'm sorry if i've hurt u my dear...i kant do aniting but 2 sms u saying out da truth...i dun haf any otha choice aint i??i kant promise u dat i wud stop crying...i kant...tears wud form even if i'm tinking of u..be it hapi or sad...n nw,letting u go??wudnt dat make worst??i hope u undastand wad i waz saying yest...dun misunderstood me...i jz really hope dat u wud be hapi wid zakiah's company...really...i kant do aniting...treat her well...jz like hw u treated her dulu...she got d rite over u first...it's unfair 4 her cos she luved u 1st....i'm jz a disturbance 2 bof of u...be hapi wid her...i'll do anitng 4 u...even if 2 sacrifice my hapiness 4 urs...wad matters now is dat u be happi...wipe out dat stupid sad face on u...it doesnt suits u...so,jz treasure d hapi moments we had together frm d 15th Feb 04 till now...hope...nvm...hoping 4 smth 2 happen is difficult...so,cut it out la nad...no use hoping....it's pointless...till we meet again...haiz....
later den i continue arh....i got no mood 2 go on...it's so saddening n too quick 4 me 2 adapt...bye 4 now...
if u tink it's easy 2 jz forget sum1 u luv,den u're nt bein honest 2 urself...luving sum1 can take a few seconds but forgetting sum1 u loved so much may take even years...haiz....
always and forever lovin' you;
4:15 PM
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