My Ramblings

I jz came bck from tuition n m dead tired now...my body seems weak n seriously tired...i'm not in da mood 2 do aniting...tot of doin some hmwk which is of course due next week but i'm too weak...i jz update je la...sms-ing zakiah now...talk 2 her n stuffs...hope she's not dishearted or tersinggung arh...it's jz a qn...haiz...i know he's tired cos he kinda jz came bck home ard 8 plus frm soccer training...maybe la..i duno...he dint even tell me...he dun tell me tings nowadays...he usta tell me he's goin soccer training near safra ard 5pm n ends maybe at 7 or 8pm gitu...but he dint do dat 2dae...haiz...once he sent me 2 tuition...4 dat very dae i will not forget....we ride d bicycle n of course talk all the way....d incident wer i wana fall still in my mind...his werds...his advice....ride on the pavement...dun ride on the grass...nanti jatoh sape susah...haiz...i doubt he'll send me 2 tuition again...i doubt so...with wad has been happening 2 us now,i doubt dat will happen again..i doubt he'll offer 2 send me 2 tuition....he wun even sae aniting now..not even a sms a dae...haiz...nvm la...maybe i'm TOOOO dependent on him...yah...i'm jz tooo dependent on him smpkan each tym wen i tink of him,tears wud roll down my cheeks...haiz...ntahlah...i'm fed up wid my life....

I dun wana live wid dix feeling of love nimore...it jz hurts...it hurts too much...i kant bare the pain readi...i noe i'm like suppose 2 4get him but how 2??tell me hw to la....u all tell me how??!!Argh!da feeling of love jz sucks...it hurts too much...it's unbareable....my hart is always in pain...y me?y mux it be me hu is always hurt?y mux i be d 1 hu has 2 sacrifice all??do i haf 2 sacrifice all my love 4 othas too in future??do i??do i haf 2 leave my husband den??c'mon la ppl...gimme a break....i'm so weak now...i jz felt like fainting now n not waking up....cos wen i wake up,i noe dix love wud haunt me again...day n nite...all i did waz 2 tink of u....but y u??y kant it be sum1 else??is god testing me on smth?ouh plz....i kant take it....IT'S SO PAINFUL...My hart is in PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haiz...

sudah la...aku bebual gni pon bukan nye aniting bleh tejadi...maybe it will get worst....ntahlah...no use talking...hope nth happen 2 me tml...not been eating well...dint haf the appetite since duno wen...nvm la..pray nth happens 2 me tml ya ppl...c ya...ciao

always and forever lovin' you;
10:19 PM

____________________________