Glam Queen





Nadirah.
Twen-teen.
27.03.88
Fresh Graduate; NYP.
Blissfully Attached;
♥Arief Budiman♥
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My Ramblings

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I thot 4 a moment.
is dix kind of life im gonna lead?!
with miserable endings
which i assume ppl wudnt noe
dey wudnt even care
so here i m
leading dix dreadful life of mine
i may put up a happy front
a brave front indeed
but it sure serves wid a purpose
which was 2 make things fine
make de ppl i luv happy
dat serves it all.
nothing all else matters.
but wads within me really matters?
wads in de hart is also impt.
ppl may nt noe
only me,myself n i.


sometimes i jz wonder.
is having a partner really benefit oneself?
at a point,it does.
cox ders sumone by ur side always
helping u thru thick n thin.
bt wad happens if dat sumone doesnt do dat?
haf u thot of dat??
wudnt dat be a heartache??!
it will hurt okay.

I'm putting on a brave front
a really extremely brave front
not 2 boast
bt i jz gota hold on.
i duno hw much longer i cud hold on
i duno hw much longer i cud stand de pain
it's pentrating thru me
e pain shadows me
i'm no longer myself
dat is not wad i wanted
bt hw do i retaliate??
tell me.
im jz a normal human being
who gets hurt eventually
bt i dun wish 2 continue
take me away
far away frm de pain
i besearch u.

at first,u were showing me signs
of concern.
showered me wid luv
give me ample time
ur time dat is.
u wud do all out jz 2 b by my side
u'd sms/call me.
nt a single day is missed.
u'd spent time wid me
send me nice msg-es
nice sms-es which put up a smile
those were de days.
BUT............................
look wad happen now??
im pretty much hurt here
bt i dun tink u realise it
u're busy wid ur own world.
i undastand ur busy-ness.
bt at least spare sum tym 4me.
it wun hurt rite?!
derz 24hrs a day.
dun tell me u're busy dix whole 24hrs?
it jus cant be.
if u can spare sum tym 4 otha ppl,
den y cant u spare sum 4me??
it hurts u noe dat.
having 2 swallow all de displeasures,
all de pain.
we're nvr even met 4 2 wks or so.
wad happened??
u noe i missed u.
even 4 a second. a milli sec if der is.


BUt guess u jz wun undastand
till u take sum actions
den will i noe hw much i mean 2u
i wun show my feelings aniwae
i jz felt dat u wudnt care nimore
i jz duno.
it's like dox heck care attitude.
get wad i mean??

4 dix,i remind u.
pls do take sum actions.
show me once again dat u cared.
prove me wrng pls.
i jz hope u'd undastand.
im hurt....
bt im jz still hanging on der,
(hoping nt 2 fall).
4 jz ONE REASON;
it's cox, I LUV U!


P:s. ppl,dun assume tings if u duno
de real story. noone noes aniwae.

me,myself n i wid e upside dwn world.
haix..

always and forever lovin' you;
8:31 PM

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