My Ramblings

i knew it. i juz knew it. my instincts jz tell me dat thing de relationship wont last bt i kept quiet not wanting 2 accept de fact dat de relationship wid him wont last. i cant take it. it'll take me a long time 2 heal. i hate 2 wave de whit flag 2 surrender my lost. i hate 2 b de victim in love. i hate it so much. s weak s i can be, i got no other choice but 2 juz accept reality. wake up from ur fantasy gerl. wake up! haix. im not given a choice 2 choose. serious. i was nvr given one. neither am i given a chance 2 ammend myself 2 prove my luv 4him. if dix is wad he wants, dix is wad he gets. eventho i noe i wont b able 2 take it cos it hurts badly havin sumone u love deeply leavin u like so suddenly. n i hadnt noe de reason 4 his leaving. it's not dat i dint ask. i ask. i ask millions of qns bt all of em remained unanswered till i gave up already. really la. each time i ask, he wont ans my qns cos he simply wont reply. so wth?! i kept asking him qns. bt yet, to no avail, i was turned down. i dunoe 4 wad reason he's doin dix 2 me. i dunoe why. im still wondering. maybe der wont b any answers 2 my qns. hu noes rite. he himself will noe. n i think de relationship is off. i dunoe. things r like dragging 4 too long already.. n wen i ask him wads de outcome. he said "i think u noe de outcome ah".. okae.. if i noe de outcome, wud i still ask u??... haiyah.. i seriously think de relationship is off.. i got no ans from him. he kept not replying 2 my msgs. n how de heck shud i noe his answers.. u think i got magic isit dat i can read ur mind n predict evryting.. u're wrong boy... im not sumone powerful whom can tell sumone else's thinkings. haix.. he ask me wen im free cos we need 2 settle things bt wen i told him wen im free, he said he got dix n dat lah. salu last mint tau. get wad i mean de heck care attitude??!!

let me tell u lahhh.. u jz cant seem 2 show me some concern.
it's like one time u show concern n another time it's like de heck care attitude.
i tolerated so much from u. really alot.
i tolerated a lot cos i luv u. i love u alot. u noe dat. a lot of ppl noe dat.
i tell myself i luv u n i can still take it tho tolerating de bad things hurts a lot.
i was too engrossed over u dat each time i think abt u, de hurt will heal.
pretty easy rite??...
but look wad happen now??? it's like u've taken advantage of me.
u knew my weakness n u're taken over it. why?
u nvr did behave like a guy. [im not sayin he's a gay okae]
u nvr did wad other guys do 2 their gfs.
i tolerated dat.
u nvr buy me gifts. okae. i dont ask 4 gifts.
i nvr did make noise eventho u nvr did give me anything.
even on our monthly anniversaries or even on any occasions la.
aniwaes, i dont expect any gifts from u.
dat doesnt matter at all. all i need is ur love n dats all..
isit really hard 2 gime ur love??
haix.................
u nvr send me home wenever we go out.
i tolerated dat.
u nvr ask me out.
i tolerated dat.
i only did de outings.
cos i noe u wont.
we only went out 4 a few times n it COUNTABLE.
once we went out only de 2 of us.
n de 2-3 outings wid ur fwens.
dats all de outings. sad rite.
bt dix is how de way things are.
i dont expect u 2 send me home everydae cos
u're under probation n cant go home late.
i understand dat.
bt at least once or twice. can rite?
am i asking 4 a lot from u??
i doubt so.
each time i c couples together, i'll tend 2 get jealous.
de gerls r so lucky 2 haf their bfs by their side.
bt wad do i get??
i tolerated dat oso.
see how much i tolerated out of u???
n im still hanging on der 4 u 2 save me.
bt i dun think u'll do dat.
fat hope.
remember once i did told u i was de happiest gerl 2
haf u s my bf?? remember dat?
yes i m still happy 2 haf u.
bt it will soon b over.
n i wont b able 2 take it.
so it's gonna b de vice versa.
me being de saddest gerl on earth??
can b oso.
haix.
i tolerated so much 4 u sia.
bt still u cant c de point.
how do i prove 2 u my luv 4 u is fer real??
i did all dat i can. wad more do u want?
i sacrifice a lot 4 u.
but u cant seem 2 appreciate it all.
i dont c it cumin.
haix....
isit really de end of us??
or isit jz my illusions??
r we officially off?
or r we still on?
see... so many qns n im yet 2 noe all de ans.
n ouhh yess, u dunoe dix cos i nvr did mention it 2u.
i broke up wid my ex cos of u.
u were partly de reason 4 our break up.
i broke up wid my ex cos of u.
i did it 4 ur sake.
but now dix is how u treat me?
i dunoe lahh y u treat me like dix.
haiyah..


p.s: u save me once, cant u do dat again???

im devastated. disappointed.hurt.pain.

always and forever lovin' you;
2:25 PM

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