My Ramblings

before reading my blog,
i shall say,
it's veri complicating.
my life is complicated.
esp my love life.
it's veri complicated.
more complicated den anithing else.
so b4 u all get all-so-confused,
n if u all dont wanna get confuse by my words,
click dat "x" on de top right hand side of de page.
if interested, carry on n read.
thanks.

i noe i sort of lost-of-touch-wid-de-blog-4-a-while.
haha..
all cos of work plus dance plus evrything else dat happen.
dengs.
it all get me so busy..
work work work.
naik jelak sehh. butt i gotta work lahh.
in order to u noe.. get money to spend.
haha..
dance was really a killer dix time round.
de warm up drop us dead.
dance warm up was de reason why im here now.
i dint go to work todae.
all cos i wasnt feeling well..
body all aching.
haiyahh.
saket u noe.

wad happened on tuesdae?
i cried so badly.
really.
asked syla.
after dance dat day,
i reached home ard 12 midnite.
cudnt bring myself to sleep.
so chatted wid syla on msn to
catch up wid things.
chat chat chat.
n he went online.
teperanjat jgk ah.
cos it's already late larss.
he told me de bad news.
which was so shocking n i cudnt take it.
i cried in front of de pc.
really.
i was hurt yett again.
i hated dat feeling.
n so i refuse to go to sleep.
i cudnt do so.
i was troubled.
mummy nagged at me 4 nt sleeping.
i had work de next day tauu.
n den 1st day puase sumore.
haiyah..
it dint do myself any good.
i noe dat.
i wasnt satisfied n so i asked him 4 an explanation.
was verii verrii saddd.
but i shant reveal wad really happen here.
think i'll keep it 2 myself fer de time being.

wednesday.
got back from work.
he was der.
dengs.
but i jus kept quiet arh.
temptation to chat was der.
but i cudnt bring myself to do so.
haiz.
den he started de convo first.
feeling was awkward after wad happen.
sark okae.
i dunoe wad to do.
bt jus ans his qns one fer one.
not more den wad was asked.
after dat, went to buke fer a while.
n i went back to c he's gone.
dunoe to wer. he was offline.

went back on msn at ard 10pm.
after negotiating wid dat irritating bro dat is.
dengs la he.
den again he was der.
i asked," was it really ur decision?"...
he told me he doesnt wanna talk abt it.
okae. so wad now.

den aleh2 he say,
him: can we?
me: can wad?
him: can we get back together like last time?
me: r u really sure?
him: yea
i was so shocked. cos we sort of fought de nite b4 n
now he's asking to b back s normal again.
me: r u really really sure abt dix?
him: give me a last chance okae
me: u'll love me alone?
him: yess
me: promise me u'll love me alone?
him: i promise darling
......................................

i dunoe wad to do.
he seems serious.
i jus got de feeling of trusting him.
i js hope he means well his words
since i've trusted him.
considered bt not actually.
dats wad we really are now.
haha.
dun understand?
confused?
go figure.
hahahaha.

we're not yet a couple.
ders so much things to noe abt each other first.
n dat needs time.
we need time to noe each other first.
n den,
see how things work.
if things work well
dennn.......
i'll tell u all de outcome okae.
4 now, just shut up n listen n read okaes.

ouh yeah..
farhan's mom n me msg yest.
haha.
surprised?
better be.
cos it's my ex's mom im msging okae.
not sum casual frens.
haha.
she sounded like a fren tho.
i was glad to noe her.

his mom: alhamdulillah sihat.. nad cik minta maaf atas sikap farhan.
wadever u kuatkan iman n byk2 sabar k.
selamat berpuase n take care.

me: takpelah cik.. mungkin nie sume da takdir.. maybe one day
we'll meet again.. noone noes.

his mom: frankly speaking,makcik is so disappointed wid him.
but i leave it to allah. he's stubborn n dont want to change at all.

me: stubborn n doesnt want to change? stubborn in wad way?

his mom: banyak buang mase ngan kawan2 than his own family..
infact he's giving us a headache.

me: dulu time ngn i pun he prioritised his frens. bt i dare not say it to him.
nanti ape plak dier ckp.. anything dat i can help to sort things out?

his mom: i dont think so. i guess he is still not mature yett.

me: hmm.. maybe i cud talk to him or smth..
mane tau nie kan bulan yg mulia.. he'll come to realise his family is
impt to him one day.

his mom: thanks cik pun harap u r right.

me: hmm.. okae..ur welcome.. prolly one day we cud haf a lil chit-chat over
some tea.. haha.. slamat berpuase n berbuke..
end of sms-es.

haha.. see wad i mean like fren-fren kinda talk.. i cud even haf de cheek to ask her
out fer tea. hahaha.. surprised rite? good lah if like datt.. seems like we can
engage well wid each other tho we're ages apart..
she's like my mom... ard same age..
bt some mothers dont talk like dat to teenagers like us wad.
some think dat we're still unmature lil brats.. right? true?
butt dats not wad farhan's mom think of me.
she thinks highly of me.
really sia.
i was surprised.. she was hoping dat me n farhan's relationship cud last long
but den she was disappointed wid his behaviour of leaving me..
nyehh.. see how grateful i m to meet sumone like her..
she's verii different from de rest.
yes, im all out fer her.....im gonna praise her so much..
thanked her 4 being sumone so special in my life..
tho it dint stay s wad i had oways wanted her to be..
a mother-in-law is niice bt den, haiz..
it's all in de past n all crushed..
nevertheless, she's oways sumone special in my eyes..
nyehhh!
she talks veri openly okae to me.
like she never ever treated me like a stranger.
she nvr did..
if she treated me like a stranger,
she wont tell wad her family is facing n all de probs.
strangers dont tell secrets n probs okae..
agree?
haha.

okaelah. i think i blogged to much.. haha..
ciao-ing.
read happily kae people.
n yes, i love her so much..
plus if i get a chance to make her my other mom,
i will..
fer now n forever,
my mom is oways de first.
maybe his mom my 2nd mom? haha.
possible. nyehhh.

i noe my life is complicating wid all dix people ard.
i may adore some bt not all.
dey make it all so confusing n difficult.
u're all confused?
den dont read lahh.
dengs!

always and forever lovin' you;
3:56 PM

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