My Ramblings
Monday, December 19, 2005
u wudnt even dare/want to c its contents.
cos if u wud, u'll cry i tell u.
hah!
i cudnt simply sleep yest nite.
i pretty wanted to talk to u
but we cud only chatted 4 a while.
ders so much which i wanted to talk to u abt
but ders smth stopping me from asking.
what? i got no idea.
hais.
"tak kecewa?"
"erm, tak."
i still remember dat phrase b4 we put down.
if the person was to be syla,
seriously, she wud haf asked whether im okay or not.
cos she'll noe im troubled thru my voice.
i wonder why u cudnt notice dat.
i wanted so much to jus talk to u.
even 4 a while.
s long s i get to hear ur voice,
it'll be veri niice.
i'll appreciate it.
but yest's call really put me down.
i dunoe why.
after we put down de fone,
i was weeping all away.
crying s quiet s i can
and i manage to hide it from mummy wen she came in.
hais.
i listened to "Bidadari",
n gosh!
i weeped more.
seriously.
i jus cudnt stop crying.
ders no one 4 me to lean on.
no shoulder to cry onto.
but i noe im to blame.
noone noes abt wad im facing now.
im keeping it from evryone.
even from syla.
she noes i cried
but she cudnt get thru why i cried.
i dint tell her.
told her not to worry abt me.
i'll be okay.
but will i?
we'll see.
i wish we cud jus meet.
and talk.
open talk.
talk abt wad we're not happy abt.
talk abt wad we want.
talk abt why,who,wad,when, how.
hah!
i feel like talking to u face to face all day long.
talk n talk n talk.
all secrets out.
no keeping.
but can dat happen?
will u want dat to happen?
i dunoe.
hais.
we'll c how thin i can be
cos i dont seem to have any mood to eat.
i'll definitely lose weight.
bt dats wad i most wanted.
but yet again,
i'll lose more den expected lor.
hais.
i'll continue layters.
wen my mind is a bit at ease.
i cant think much 4 now.
i cant seem to think even if i want to.
my mind is occuppied by YOU.
always and forever lovin' you;
8:13 AM
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