My Ramblings

Hais.
why must life be so troublesome?
why must it be so stressful?
why must it be full of shit-ness?
why must evrything nt werk out well?
why?

dance oso stress.
friday's performance, only 3 of us dancing
at TFA.
we're nt good dancers.
i admit. i noe.
so it's like i feel nt comfortable la.
nt dat i dont want, i do want to dance
but only 3 people dancing.
if ders mistakes,
people wud haf notice dem clearly.
wudnt it be more stressful for de 3 of us den?
haiyah.
anything la.

after listening to wad u've said,
it kept me thinking.
thinking deep. thinking hard.
was I your right choice?
was I de one whom u really wanted?
i was sad precisely.
depressed maybe.
who wudnt kan?
hearing wadever u've mentioned.
i jus kept quiet n jus listened.
notice dat?
cos if i haf said so much,
u wudnt be happy.
i mean nt happy,happy.
like u wont like it ah.
dat was why i said i was okay.
but deep inside i wasnt.

i noe it's nothing.
nothing to be worried abt.
dats wad u told me aniwae.
but den again.
i too haf feelings.
feelings of losing u is drawing nearer n nearer.
somehow.
i jus can feel it.
i noe im scared.
im really scared.
i swear im scared of losing u.
bt wad can i do if it was really cumin near?
tell me.
tell me im de one whom u only love.
show me.
prove me.
it's nt dat im doubting ur love
but dox gerls make me feel dat way.
uncomfortable.
unsecure.
is how i felt wen u told me all dox stories of dem.
i dunoe wad else to say.

im saying dix wif a heavy hart.
i noe
i cant afford to take any more hurt,
but.....
if u think dat im not de one for u,
not ur right choice,
im willing to let u go.
im willing to let u be wif sumone whom u'll be happier wif.
ur happiness is mine.
so wen u're happy, i'll be happy too.
no worries.
i dont like to fight over guys.
and i noe so do u.
u dont like to fight over gerls too.
so we're equal.
dat was why im willing to let u go in order 4
u to get dat happiness u've been wanting.
maybe ders other gerls out der whom u may want to be wif
but dare not tell me.
be open kays.
since i've alreadi told u dix,
if ders sumone else in ur hart,
please do tell me.
BUT.
if it happens dat u've chosen me,
n ders no other gerls in ur hart,
den love ONLY ME.
i dont want to share u wid sumone else.
sharing other things can.
but not bf.
yes, u can say im stingy.
but it's jus me.
i dont like to share bf.
either u choose her, or u choose me.
u cant haf both.
cos i dont like.
dats one case if ders sumone else in ur hart la.
but if der isnt, den it's gud la.
i'll be glad if u're loving me only.
ders only me in ur hart.
i'll be really happy if dats de truth.
hais.

im crying.
im trembling.
im falling.
help me.

always and forever lovin' you;
12:48 AM

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