My Ramblings
Friday, January 27, 2006
ppl may think it's gud news bt im unsure myself
whether it's a gud or a bad one.
HE's stress wid dat SUMONE's attitude.
hah.
hmm...
seems like wad evryone's telling me is de truth.
and it's really happening.
i swear.
i nvr make up stories okay.
like i thot last tym,
"alah.. drg bobal mengarut.
confirm HE WILL BE HAPPY WID HER wad
since she changed fer his sake."
so now, look 4 urself.
think. think really hard.really deep.
wad happen?
evrything turning their backs to u rite?
evrything went wrong rite??
evrything dint go to wer it supposed to go rite?
i dunoe wad im feeling nw la.
im confused all over.
i dunoe whether to be happy or sad or disappointedor
wadever feelings der is.
im nt de revengeful type s u all noe.
i noe myself well.
u see 4 urself kay wad u've done to urself.
wad u've created for urself.
im not back firing YOU.
im not scolding YOU.
im not insulting YOU.
nor am i taking any revenge.
if i were to take any revenge,
i wud have done soin de ferst place.
so think.
im jus trying to help u WAKE UP and REALISE things.
things dat dint go ur way.
things dont oways go ur own way okay.
so move on and leave dox things.
u dont have to hang on
and endure de hardships she's giving YOU.
it breaks my hart having to hear
YOU being treated dat way.
it really BREAKS my hart la.
i've heard so many things abt her.
dont ask from hu, from wer.
but de most important qn
dat oways pops up in my mind is,
what in de world is SHE doing?
why is SHE doing dix to YOU?
sepak-ing?
terajang-ing?
tumbok-ing?
tonyoh-ing?
da tebiat kape tu pompan?
nvr in my life i've come across such gerls sia.
really lah.
my frens, walaupun bergurau, tkde smp gitu skali seh.
sepak. terajang.da melampau seh.
saket hati dgr.
i noe.
i realise.
u're not part of me animore.
but it jus hurts noe-ing u're being treated so terribly by HER.
i noe YOU dont want sympathy.
bt im nt showing any sympathy here.
it's jus dat,erm.. alahh..
YOU wudnt understand it anyway.
try being in my shoes n u'll FULLY understand my situation nw.
hais.
heard SHE dint pay a SINGLE cent.
YOU're paying evrything fer HER.
im not jealous.
im not demanding anything
nor am i asking 4 ur money.
but jus dat,have YOU ever realise,
de difference between MY PRESENCE n HER PRESENCE???
im jus asking YOU dat.
bukan nk ungkit la.
but it's a TRUE FACT which i dint/cant lie.
SHE dint pay. i paid[at tyms]. note dat SHE DINT pay AT ALL.
SHE tonyoh ur head.SHE sepak.SHE terajang YOU.
but did i do ALL THOSE?
ask urself.only YOU have de answers.
SHE clubs. i dont.
SHE drinks? i dunoe. but i noe i dont.
SHE smokes? i dunoe. n yet again i dont.
HER attitude? i shant comment.
but jus ask YOUR surroundings.
ur people. ur budak-budak.ur bros n sis.
have u ever thot of asking dem how dey felt wid HER presence ard?
YOU should if u havent.
SHE's changing back to her normal self isnt SHE?
her tomboy-ish is back.
and YOU dont like it.
i thot YOU said,
SHE changed for YOUR sake.
and now,SHE's got YOU,
and she's changing back.rite?
hmmmmmmmmmmm.
please wake up n realise things la.
dont let dem held u back.
tho im not part of u anymore,
im still concern.
cos i admit, deep inside ders still feelings
for YOU.
n i noe it's impossible to go back
cos u nvr will love me like b4.
and u dont love me aniwae.
hah!
so shud i feel happy or sad?
i dunoe la.hais.
let me ask YOU dix qn.
ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY BEING WID HER?
remember dix.
i was willing to LET YOU GO bcos of ur happiness.
ur one n only HAPPINESS. nothing else matters.
if u were to be sad, wudnt i be sad too?
i can feel it.
i can sense de sadness.
but why are YOU hiding it?
and running away from it?
dont fake ur happiness.
maybe YOU can fake a smile.
but i HATE to see YOU faking ur own happiness.
just stop it okay.
im sick n tired of FAKENESS.
hais.
can i say i miss YOU?
hmmmm.
i swear i dont haf a replacement.
pengganti? replacement?hah.
not yet.or shall i say, i dont want.
u shud get de idea by nw why i dint get a replacement
nor a pengganti.
cos YOU're still playing in my mind.
i still cant get over YOU.
nomatter wad i do, wad i try, i still cant.
de guy u were telling me was merely my godbro's fren.
dont believe?
i give YOU his number, YOU go ask him.
or shall i give YOU my godbro's number n u go ask him instead.
ask asilah. she also noes.
he's jus a fren of mine.
for now, guys shant be entertained.
i had too much sufferings from u people.
hais.
recall back wad u've done.
and i HOPE YOU'll realise sumhow,
how important my presence was.
and de absence of my presence felt really bad.
i jus HOPE.
hais.
and wen u need sumone to talk to,
stressing over things n not having anyone to talk to,
im here. always made available for YOU.
jus noe dat.
always and forever lovin' you;
2:31 PM
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