My Ramblings

ferstly, i'd like to say tankiew so much to my one and only, abg FADHIL for the song dedication. entitled "Stop crying ur heart out" by oasis. kalau abg ade band ehk abg. hahahhaha. u make me laugh lahh. angan2 besar seh tu tapi bley tercapai. im oways blessing you orites. hehe! aniwaes, it's a niice song indeed. try downloading la. had a long chat wid abg yest. simply catching up wid sum stuffs dat we missed out fer quite sum time. how i missed him. been long since we last meet and had a nice long talk. hmmmm... abg taught me how to sort of understand trance. haha! yeah, trance. i tink i got evrything mixed up sia. all dix while i've been listenin to trance and NOT techno. lols. so salahhh. so paiseh. hehh! bt wadever. abg taught me de flow of trance. from fast to slow and slow to fast. it continues. oh ya, linn, i noe u and ur sis dont like techno. hah!
aniwaes, he advised me too in terms of love and sumhow, dey're rather useful. told him if he needed sumone, im oways here. if only he was a my real abg, wudnt dat be great? hahahahha. oh wells.

second. yiyi darlink, thanks a lot fer the help. thanks 4 helping my fren out. if it werent 4 u, i dunoe wad else to do. asked ard but sum frens dint haf much cash wid dem. and lucky der was you. you saved me. hahahahha! thanks a lot okayys. sorry 4 de trouble of switching ur cash. i dint noe ur money was in uob bank and wadever money in uob cannot be transfered to posb bank. sorry for de whole mess of trouble where u had to withdraw money and switch banks and transfer again. so sorry okay darling. heheheh! and thanks a lot. he mentioned it too!

i HATE to see you guys fyte okay. just STOP all dix shiiettss! it's unnecessary. it's just a small matter and u're bringing it up and turning it to big. wth?! i just dont like to see you people fight. stare sane sket, fight. telanggar sket, fight. people say a few things abt u, fight. you people got nothing else to do isit? kalau tkde meh aku bagik. hais. jus dont irritate me wid small matters dat doesnt need my attention okay. watch out? stop picking up a fight, will you? just for my sake? can you do just dat 4 me? STOP wadever u used to do in de past. im against it. change la please. unless it's smth big, den i'll understand. wad ppl want to say, let dem be. each individuals have their say in evrything. even if de person is criticising you, accept it. amend ur ways. it cud be a nice change/ turnout for you. who noes. and rather, it'll benefit u in de future. you'll nvr noe if someone's criticism wud do you good. bare dat in mind.

yes. i cried. im crying. im just accepting evry single little things u're saying and telling. and i've realised each time i asked a question, u'll sumhow come up wid smth else and wont answer dat qn. i have oways wonder why. so maybe it's not yet de right time to ans my qn. but wen will it be de right time? wen im dead in front of you? in a pool of blood? will dat be satisfying? will dat be the right time to just answer my question which i was dying to noe de previous time? hais.
i dunoe la wad else to say. days been passing and i've yet to make up my mind. things has been pretty difficult for me. wads more? wid ur big ego. how do i face dat? ego is the biggest/difficult thing which i oways had problems with. solving dem? hah! i nearly gave up. and now, im to face dem again? how do i do dat? tell me. i cant do things myself. you have to change sumhow.
remember i managed to change jus for you? difficult as it may seem, i sumhow did change but in de end, you dint like it. hais. so now, just do dix for me. change for the better. u're doing great in school now. im glad. im happy. happy for you cos you seemed to change dat mindset of urs abt school now. dats great! im verii proud of you. just lessen dat ego. please.

im sick and tired of all dix shiiets okay. i HATE to go thru all dix again. ALL OVER AGAIN!
i dont. i wont. and i just cant. so better STOP IT or i'll just break down and never will i want to see whoever dat has created so much problems 4 me. i'll do it. cos you people simply wont stop, doing wadever you think is right but it's de other way round instead. open up ur eyes, realise ur mistakes and admit to dem. dont be such a coward and run away from dem; pointing it out to others and saying dey are de ones who makes dox mistakes rather than you. dats so wrong and i hate it. haizzz........

can life get any worst for me? im tired. too tired. i may be all smiles wen u see me. i'll nvr fail to put up a smile and a strong front just to fake out. but does anyone fcuking care wad im going thru now? alahh, wadever lah.

wads happening now? why de sudden calls from you people? wen i was dreading ur calls, der wasnt any. sersely. but wen im not dreading nor waiting for dem, dey came. dey came quite often. almost evryday. i thot you were such a busy person. oh wells. is this sum kind of a test for me or wad??? you'll call wen u need me and you'll simply ignore wen im not needed. wad kind of attitude is dix? arghhh! just go away from me if your concern's faking. pretendence is wad i HATE coming from you. STOP IT!!!

im waiting for a miracle. sitting and staring under de bright stars. im left all alone. looking ahead wad life will bring me. hoping for the best. but will it turn out to be such a niice memory?
i wonder.

come back baby please.
we belong together.
i wish.

always and forever lovin' you;
1:42 AM

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